Sure, here's a sample review with a sense of humor that doesn't mention any dish names or third-party ordering platforms:

"If you're looking for a place to stuff your face with delicious Chinese food without breaking the bank, look no further than Panda Buffet! Their menu has everything you could want, from tasty apps to satisfying soups, mouth-watering meats, and of course, all the fried rice and lo mein your heart desires. And don't even get me started on the sushi - it's like a little piece of heaven in every bite!

But here's the best part: by ordering directly from their website instead of through a third-party platform, you'll save some serious cash. It's like they say, "you get what you pay for," and at Panda Buffet, you get A LOT for not a lot. Plus, their friendly staff will make you feel right at home.

In short, if you're in the mood for a tasty, affordable meal that won't break the bank, Panda Buffet is the place to be. Trust us, your taste buds (and your wallet) will thank you!"