Greetings, fellow food enthusiasts! I've got a chuckle-inducing review for you, highlighting a hidden gem of Chinese and Thai cuisine without once mentioning any dish names. Prepare your taste buds for Simon's Chinese Cuisine, located at 3975 Old Milton Pkwy #1, Alpharetta, GA, where you can "roll" up to a diverse menu that's guaranteed to make your wallet and your palate do a happy dance!

First off, let's talk about variety - Simon's has got it in spades. From the land and sea, they've got an extensive "sea-lection" of options for you chicken, beef, pork, and veggie lovers. But wait, there's more! You can even take a trip to the "thai-side" with their Thai Menu - a lovely "corner" of the menu that packs a flavorful punch. And don't forget about the sushi - a "combo-nation" of mouthwatering delights, including "special" rolls and "assor-tic" selections that will leave you utterly amazed!

Now, let's focus on savings. If you're someone who appreciates keeping a few extra bucks in their pocket, ordering from Simon's own website will be a real "appetite-izer." The price difference between ordering through them and third-party services is like "day and night" - and we all know which one we'd rather have in our wallets. Plus, you'll be supporting a local business, which always tastes better than lining the pockets of those big-name delivery apps!

The menu is positively "overflow-ing" with options; it's like an endless "rice-ervation" of tempting eats. You'll find "starter" items, soups, chef's specialties (including "chicken," "beef," and "pork" categories that are sure to please!), and even a "wing-combo" if you're feeling extra adventurous. And if you've got the little ones in tow, Simon's has a delightful "kids menu" that's just the right size for tiny tummies.

To wrap up this roller coaster of a review, I have to "egg-stra" praise Simon's for their wonderful "egg foo young" options, and the fact that their menu even includes a "raw bar" just adds that extra touch of class. Plus, with a selection of "sake/Asian wines," "martinis," "beer," "on the rocks," and "soda drinks," there's truly something for everyone at Simon's Chinese Cuisine.

So, next time you're in the mood for some fantastic Chinese and Thai food, I highly recommend paying a visit to Simon's. Trust me, you'll be "sake-y" you did!