Oh, Grand Szechuan at 10602 France Ave S, Bloomington, MN, you sneaky little restaurant you! Trying to keep all the savings for yourself by encouraging us to order directly from your website instead of those pesky third-party platforms. We love a place that knows how to keep its hard-earned dollars and pass on the value to its customers.

Let me regale you with a whimsical, dish-name-free journey through the many categories of your vast and varied menu, as if we're playing a tantalizing game of gastronomic Clue. It's as if you're whispering in our ear, "I suggest you explore the cold dish category, where you might find a delightfully refreshing and crunchy morsel to awaken your senses." Or perhaps you'd nudge us towards the soups, with a wink and a nod, suggesting, "Our simmering stock holds secrets that will warm your soul, especially when paired with our exquisitely crafted Beef & Lamb offerings."

With a playful flourish, you draw our attention to the Chicken (S) section, where sublime sauces and mysterious marinades await. And as we ponder the allure of Pork, you divulge, "One bite of our succulent masterpieces will transport you to a pig-filled paradise."

And then, there's the grand finale, the Seafood (S) category, where you croon, "Indulge in the fruits of the sea, prepared in ways you never thought possible." The Tofu's waving at us, but we know you're secretly hoping we'll opt for the rich and comforting Vegetables (S) instead. We've heard tales of the New Special, and we're itching to see it firsthand, and you tantalizingly tease, "There's no time like the present for something fresh and delicious."

Your extensive Beverage & Wine lists keep us guessing, and our taste buds dancing in anticipation. Your Lunch options serenade us with choices galore - Chicken, Pork, Beef, Seafood, Vegetable Tofu, Lo Mein, Fried Rice, Noodle, Beef Pork, Chicken, Seafood, Lo Mein, and Egg Foo Young, all waiting patiently for us to explore.

As we laughingly navigate the Appetizers, Soup, Vegetables, Snacks, Wine Clone categories (yes, Wine Clone, oh the imagination!), you smile, knowing you've stolen our hearts, and our wallets are that much heavier thanks to your devious little scheme. Grand Szechuan, you have our hearts and our continued patronage - three cheers for the cleverness of your website-ordering ways! 🥳🥳🥳